As many of you have noticed already, one of the main aspects of my logo is this bell. And on the surface, considering the fact that I am a concierge of sorts; helping people find their way when their lost, the bell serves a much, much deeper meaning.
I wasn't always the confident woman that many of you get to witness. And it may come as a surprise to you that I wasn't always so sure if who I am now is who I would eventually be.
As with most unresolved issues that we face in adulthood, most of my issues took place during childhood as the single-child product of a lower-middle class family. Once my family relocated us to another less pristine but still stable area, I noticed things were different. And the things that I once took pride in, didn't carry the same weight as before.
For the sake of time, I'll spare you the details, but I knew from the first few days that I was different from everyone else. I don't mean in a pretentious, holier than thou type of way, but my interests were different. My love of reading, my love of chess, watching Dragon Ball and reading Babysitters Club didn't quite cut the mustard. So I had the choice to either fit in or continue to stand out. I unsuccessfully found myself trying to balance the two, trying to keep my individuality while assimilating to my new reality. When my parents divorced, it became even harder to not lose myself.
A friend of mine happened to live in the same apartments as me and I found myself being around her and her family everyday. We happened to be in the same class so we would walk to and from school together. Her family welcomed me in and we soon became inseparable. She invited me to church with her one day.
And that day changed my life. From that day forward, I had given my life to Christ and found myself spending all of my time at church learning from others, soaking information like a sponge, listening to the stories and testimonies of the elders about how God had made such an amazing difference in their life.
Unfortunately, as Jay-Z famously said "Life starts when the church ends" and for me that's exactly what happened. I was able to go to one of the best public school's in America to prepare myself for college, and as luck would have it, the day that I found out that I had been accepted to Howard University on an academic scholarship, was the very day that I discovered I was pregnant with my first child.
When it was time to graduate, I sat on the very first row on stage because my last name started with a "B". There I was, one of about 8 black kids out of a class of about 50 or so, sitting on the front row pregnant with their first child while everyone else spoke about how great the future was going to be.
I became a single mother before the birth of my child.
Life wasn't over for me, I was able to find love again and met the man that I would later marry when my son was three months old. I knew that the life that I was living was not for me, so I did everything in my power to go back to a trade school, worked night shift, just so that we would have the opportunity to live the life that I always wanted for myself. My fiancée became my biggest cheerleader and made things as easy for me as he could while he did his part.
Yet, I found myself pregnant AGAIN! As if one additional mouth to feed wasn't enough, here came another one. I worked up until I gave birth, and went back to work a week or two afterword. Then I found myself pregnant 3 months after having the last baby. I was fired the day I planned on taking my maternity leave (long story).
By now you must be wondering, what does this have to do with the bell?
Well, I'll tell you, you little impatient person you.
After losing my job while pregnant with my third child, I was at my wit's end. But luckily I was able to find another job, and then after that I got a promotion at another job, but then did so well, the previous company offered me more money and responsibility with another promotion. BIG MISTAKE. This position did so much damage to my mental health that it took me years to recover, so much so, that I quit without having another job lined up.
After the realization of what I had done finally hit me, along with bills starting to pile up. I did something that I had never done before, but had only seen in all my years of going to church.
I cried out. I screamed. I wailed so much that my voice went hoarse. I asked God why He would let this happen to me when he knows how much I am capable, how I didn't deserve this, how my family didn't deserve this. . How we were going to be able to keep a place to stay, keep our car, keep food in the fridge, pay for milk. My faith had never ever been so low. They say that all you need is faith as small as a mustard seed, well that's all I had.
In the midst of my crying. I heard a bell, as clear as day ring near my ear. So much so that I had to look around to see where it came from. I asked my husband if he had heard it, he hadn't. I asked my kids, and they hadn't. It was literally like someone rang a bell loudly right beside me. I was so curious as to what it was, that I stopped crying. Later that day I would get a phone call that would set me on the path to learning all there is to know about HIM...and the rest is history.
Now the bell is part of my logo. It is not just about me being willing to help others, but it is a constant reminder that even on my weakest days, there's a higher power that will help me too.
And as The HIM Concierge, I'm not just helping guide you in your health information career, but I'm helping guide you to HIM too.